It is an absolutely stunning and glorious day out here today, and there’s a grasshopper whining in the shed; desperate for a return to the roads; desperate to inflict pain on muscles that have wasted. But I have to turn a deaf ear for today I am chained to the inbox, with remission only for trips to the post office. Stress levels are high; blood pressure not far behind.
At the weekend I came across some delightful words, so I thought I’d share them with you:
‘Everyone began chattering at once. Within a few minutes I’d counted as many as six different languages: Romanian, Armenian, English, French, Magyar and Turkish. On my right sat an eighty-two year old man who’d been driven from Konya in 1915. He was being ribbed about his new wife.
“Give him a new lease of life…..”
“….. sends him to bed early.”
“Or an early grave of there’s too much of that.”
The old man just smiled fondly and threw back his vodka.
“Is she Armenian?” I asked.
“No, Romanian. My first two wives were Armenian, but this one came along so I thought, why not? She’s very pretty and only fifty-three.”
On my other side sat the cricketer, with his news-reel English.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You’ll have to speak up. This is my bad’ear. Stalingrad, you know.”
“Russians or Germans?”
“Germans, the cavalry. Hell of a campaign. Rode to Stalingrad, ate my horse and walked back. Two thousand kilometres, you know. Damned hell, that was. Then the Russians came so I fought for them.”
“And who did you prefer?”
“Didn’t like either very much. But I loved the war – loved the horses, loved the danger. Know what the greatest danger was?”
“What?”
He leaned towards me, lowering his voice. “Syphillis, old chap. Damned hell of a thing. Father died in the First War, no one to tell me. But I kept my hands well scrubbed.” ‘
It was of course Philip Marsden who wrote that passage. It was the type of situation that reminded of Jason Elliot on his travels, or Michael Carroll. One day, perhaps…. But I was sitting in the car outside the sports centre whilst Urchin the Younger ran around after a football. Yes I know I said I’d have a gym session, but that was before learning that I had to pay a vast sum to be told how all the machines work, in a pre-booked one hour session, and then wait until some acne-ridden yoof type worked out my personal fitness programme. And there was me thinking that an ideal way to spend half an hour or so was to try and get a cross-trainer moving at its slowest possible speed. Fitness progaramme? I don’t think so, for horror is not my genre. But the exercise machine is not to be, so I read.
And whilst I read the politcos were on the wireless, but there were precious few wise words there. I learn that Cameron is the latest recruitment officer for the nationalists, who see new memberships spiking every time the blue tory opens his mouth on matters Scottish. Today Moribund will no doubt join the same club as he comes to Glasgow to give us the ‘positive case for the union’. Meanwhile Cameron has said that he will veto more powers, thereby removing from the equation the devo-max option that Moribund wants to talk about. He didn’t tell his Scottish leader, who refused to believe such a rumour. She of course is the one who thought Salmond’s propsed question was fair and clear, until London decided otherwise.
Interesting times lie ahead, of that there is no doubt.
Thank goodness for Marsden. Much as my interest in the path ahead may be, it is great to be able to switch off that radio, and turn a page. And what pages these ones are. Now, back to the inbox……